Ok, I am so tired of seeing this as a thread or in comments that I had to blog on it.
And the handsome , although face blurred man in the pic, is MY MAN. My web design partner, and life partner who is the magic behind a good many ladies web sites by Taken By Storm on Twitter. We both do web design , but he is who originally helped me learn my craft and also who builds the CUSTOM coded sites.
The quote of many : ” I can’t understand how you can be a sex worker and be married or in a serious relationship and still have sex for money”
My answer : “ I can’t understand how we can still claim to be modern women and other genders and still have this old fashioned notion of what love and relationships look and feel like”
Them: How can a good man let his wife or girlfriend be a sex worker?
Me : If your man is REALLY a good man he supports and respects your life choices and occupation choices regardless of his own ego. ( even if hes uncomfortable with it , he allows you to do it IF YOU WANT TO. Same as any other thing you do as an adult.
Read my last statement again!!!!
Stop with the old fashioned thinking of what male and female roles are in relationships. We don’t all abide by them. I will never be submissive , or obey anyone. I don’t care who they are or what gender they are. Nor do I need to be saved or have someone “take care of me” I am my own person with my own mind and my own ability to make decisions for my life.
So many SW’ers and clients think its wrong or do not understand how we as sex workers can have committed relationships as sex workers.
I THINK THAT IS SO SAD, BECAUSE IT FEEDS INTO THE NOTION THAT AS A SEX WORKER YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF OR DESERVING OF COMMITTED, LOYAL LOVE.
It also buys into the mindset that you cannot be a worthy wife or a good woman because you are a sex worker…
PLENTY OF PORN STARS ARE MARRIED, PLENTY OF CAM GIRLS ARE MARRIED, SO YES PLENTY OF ESCORTS HAVE LIFE PARTNERS TOO.
Sex Work is just that.. WORK.
For the record my partner HATES that I am still in the sex work industry BUT he also knows I am an adult, I make my own decisions and
he respects me enough and understands that THIS IS WORK, it is NOT cheating . It is a business transaction. He knows that while I may build a rapport or friendship with clients and that yes for an hour or an evening I am pretending to love them or be into them. HE KNOWS AT THE END OF THE DAY, I LOVE HIM AND ONLY HIM!
I keep my life compartmentalized. My personal life is just that, and work is work.
REAL love , real relationships are deeper than sex . Sex is just a physical act. For me the sex I have and enjoy with the person I love is very different for
me spiritually and mentally than what I do for work. I have trained my brain to always keep them separate. My love story began 11 years ago with my now life partner of 11 years as a client , BUT he was not looking for sex when he was a client. His thing has always only been foot worship. We became friends and he helped me way back then through some of the most horrible moments anyone could have. FOR the record he fought himself internally and everything he’d been taught about the type of woman he should love and be with, he said he couldn’t date or become serious with a sex worker.. HE SAID IT.. but after about 3 years of a very very close friendship he decided that he loved me, told me and the rest is history. Even my web design business ( hes a web designer and me growing is due to him, my children and grandchildren love him) TRUE he has broken up with me a few times when he’s been overcome with the mental thought that he doesn’t quite have me to himself. BUT then he calms down and remembers.. I LOVE HIM, HE LOVES ME! I and every sex worker is deserving of that.
People do REAL cheating, where it’s not work, not transational all the time and yes for a moment its scandalous or people are appalled when they realize that SEX WORKERS CAN HAVE HEALTHY LOVING RELATIONSHIPS. Why does it have to be “How can you be in a relationship and have sex for money?” Would it be okay to be married and poly-amorous for free. I have friends in my real life in open marriages who do that. I don’t speak negatively of it because they are two adults making a choice.
Sometimes you love who the hell you love and their profession shouldn’t affect that.
SO can we please stop pushing the narrative that sex workers cannot be in happy, healthy relationships.
IT’S really no different than half the relationships and sexuality most people have in today’s world in real relationships. I just get paid when I step out.
I love that my boyfriend puts himself second, swallows his masculine ego and allows me to be me. He knows it will not be forever and that I am worthy waiting for. That’s a beautiful thing.
More of you need to allow yourselves to be loved, and to know you can be loved. AND if you DON’T believe that you can be a sex worker and in a relationship THAT IS FINE TOO, BUT STOP TALKING SHIT OR SPEAKING NEGATIVELY OF THOSE OF YOUR PEERS WHO HAVE FOUND HAPPINESS. WE ARE NOT ALL “SEX MACHINES” many of us enjoy having real relationships to keep us sane and grounded.
Hopefully this blog entry has opened some of your eyes.
SEX WORK IS A JOB, IT IS A JOB THAT YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL ASHAMED OF AND IF YOU THINK YOU CANNOT BE A GOOD PARTNER, WIFE , GIRLFRIEND WHILE DOING YOUR JOB, THEN YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF WHY? YOU ARE JUST AS WORTHY OF A RELATIONSHIP AND CAN HAVE A HEALTHY ONE EVEN WHILE BEING A SEX WORKER.
To think we cannot is simply ridiculous !
We all have the right to our choices and we don’t have to understand each others choices but we also don’t have to speak badly of something as beautiful as love.
Have a good day everyone.